One of the many things I believe to be underrated, is BREAKDOWN. Until or unless girls and little boys use it in place of the anxiousness caused by a romantic call two days late.
I think a breakdown is that Di Niro doesn't have in Taxi Driver, a breakdown is that Martha Marcy May Marlene's protagonist doesn't familiarizes herself with. An absolute silent, also the most dangerous breakdown is that of Stephen King's Carrie. This surrender to your impulses, and an outburst of being organized, too meticulous, this losing of control, stabilizes you. It either gives you what you seek and have been demanding for long or it ignites your deepest desires or fears from the subconscious. A breakdown lights you up, either happily or into ashes. It picks you up from the point where you stopped understanding, where you were too scared to peak in and left unbothered. They are seen as weak, but we need to remember, seen weak and vulnerable by who? It is either by those stuck up people who didn't even have the heart to experience and realize a trauma in the first place, forget accepting its impact. Or this judgment is made by few of those immodest ones who recovered theirs long back and now get kicks out of seeing others suffer.
Now, this is one of those very few psychological theories that I don't find elitist. These are applicable and visible in all kinds of people. A rickshaw wala has a breakdown when he goes home and beats up his wife for the first time. A 'kamwali' is going through a breakdown when she takes a leave for no exact reason, except feeling tired. Even Okonkwo from Things Fall Apart has his final breakdown, ending in destruction. Its doesn't have to be out of a particular instance, it doesn't have to be a major emotional accident, it can simply be a series of events, that you don't avoid. Those events and actions that you permit day after day, day after day only because you believe that normalcy is the symbol sanity. Sanity is finding vibrancy in chaos around you, like 2 Days in Paris. And I believe strongly, that once you have been touched by insanity, you can never let go. This reminds of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a beautiful movie, a beautiful escape. But like Shawshank Redemption, I always wonder, if these men who have been institutionalized and tortured in every possible way, find normalcy as soothing and relaxing. Can that huge black guy find freedom in that final escape, will he ever speak freely? But that's where the beauty is, it is in the fight. The struggle that feels unreal by its magnitude is dissolved. You look back in disbelief and try, try it for the effort.
But these lapses are caused by individual desires., how someone has been suppressing them and how will they rediscover them. There are times when even the littlest task of getting up in the morning is painful, you keep trying hard, harder to feel in sync. I know I felt it. I started believing that trivialities of life, the meager problems people tend to discuss and ponder upon are insignificant. Because there are far important and bigger issues that kids our age across the globe dealing. I believe greatly in thankfulness, and these days I magnified my understanding. I started forcing myself to ignore little disappointments, as I am luckier than 50% kids. Why should I complain about a distrusting partner or a failure, whereas I can pull myself up and try for better things in life, as every day thousand of kids die before they even reach teenage. These questions and arguments are far far away from invalid. But when I burst out, I agreed and accepted my space, my personal emotions. This absolutely does not imply, that I shall be ignorant and ungrateful because I am not in that part of world, and hence my biggest concern should only be the boy I like.
Again, I pertain a very subjective point of view of life. But this subjectivity is quite often mistaken by objective thinkers as selfishness. Subjectivity gives you the power of understanding. It conveys to you that even though ten people might speak the same language, but their words and methods of communication can vary extremely. If I had continued to look at things the way I was starting to, I would have forgotten the beauty of Taxi Driver, the strict smoothness of Scent of a Woman, the thrill of Dead Poets Society and the captivation of Avatar.
Beauty lies in the little things that go unnoticed when we get stuck up in a routine we have designed unwillingly for ourselves. Sometimes a great painter might not feel like painting and a prolific writer would want to stop. It is important that we give ourselves this time. It can be painful, breakdowns usually are, because after them you are changed person. Its like dying with complete consciousness for few minutes and coming back to life. These outbursts of pent up anger, guilt, thirst, lust, love, hate, fear or power, are as necessary as the very presence of these emotions. Because believe it or not, it makes us human.
I think a breakdown is that Di Niro doesn't have in Taxi Driver, a breakdown is that Martha Marcy May Marlene's protagonist doesn't familiarizes herself with. An absolute silent, also the most dangerous breakdown is that of Stephen King's Carrie. This surrender to your impulses, and an outburst of being organized, too meticulous, this losing of control, stabilizes you. It either gives you what you seek and have been demanding for long or it ignites your deepest desires or fears from the subconscious. A breakdown lights you up, either happily or into ashes. It picks you up from the point where you stopped understanding, where you were too scared to peak in and left unbothered. They are seen as weak, but we need to remember, seen weak and vulnerable by who? It is either by those stuck up people who didn't even have the heart to experience and realize a trauma in the first place, forget accepting its impact. Or this judgment is made by few of those immodest ones who recovered theirs long back and now get kicks out of seeing others suffer.
Now, this is one of those very few psychological theories that I don't find elitist. These are applicable and visible in all kinds of people. A rickshaw wala has a breakdown when he goes home and beats up his wife for the first time. A 'kamwali' is going through a breakdown when she takes a leave for no exact reason, except feeling tired. Even Okonkwo from Things Fall Apart has his final breakdown, ending in destruction. Its doesn't have to be out of a particular instance, it doesn't have to be a major emotional accident, it can simply be a series of events, that you don't avoid. Those events and actions that you permit day after day, day after day only because you believe that normalcy is the symbol sanity. Sanity is finding vibrancy in chaos around you, like 2 Days in Paris. And I believe strongly, that once you have been touched by insanity, you can never let go. This reminds of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a beautiful movie, a beautiful escape. But like Shawshank Redemption, I always wonder, if these men who have been institutionalized and tortured in every possible way, find normalcy as soothing and relaxing. Can that huge black guy find freedom in that final escape, will he ever speak freely? But that's where the beauty is, it is in the fight. The struggle that feels unreal by its magnitude is dissolved. You look back in disbelief and try, try it for the effort.
But these lapses are caused by individual desires., how someone has been suppressing them and how will they rediscover them. There are times when even the littlest task of getting up in the morning is painful, you keep trying hard, harder to feel in sync. I know I felt it. I started believing that trivialities of life, the meager problems people tend to discuss and ponder upon are insignificant. Because there are far important and bigger issues that kids our age across the globe dealing. I believe greatly in thankfulness, and these days I magnified my understanding. I started forcing myself to ignore little disappointments, as I am luckier than 50% kids. Why should I complain about a distrusting partner or a failure, whereas I can pull myself up and try for better things in life, as every day thousand of kids die before they even reach teenage. These questions and arguments are far far away from invalid. But when I burst out, I agreed and accepted my space, my personal emotions. This absolutely does not imply, that I shall be ignorant and ungrateful because I am not in that part of world, and hence my biggest concern should only be the boy I like.
Again, I pertain a very subjective point of view of life. But this subjectivity is quite often mistaken by objective thinkers as selfishness. Subjectivity gives you the power of understanding. It conveys to you that even though ten people might speak the same language, but their words and methods of communication can vary extremely. If I had continued to look at things the way I was starting to, I would have forgotten the beauty of Taxi Driver, the strict smoothness of Scent of a Woman, the thrill of Dead Poets Society and the captivation of Avatar.
Beauty lies in the little things that go unnoticed when we get stuck up in a routine we have designed unwillingly for ourselves. Sometimes a great painter might not feel like painting and a prolific writer would want to stop. It is important that we give ourselves this time. It can be painful, breakdowns usually are, because after them you are changed person. Its like dying with complete consciousness for few minutes and coming back to life. These outbursts of pent up anger, guilt, thirst, lust, love, hate, fear or power, are as necessary as the very presence of these emotions. Because believe it or not, it makes us human.
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