"Its a tale, tale of sex and a woman. The prominence of this word in her life has been unavoidable. From a child of five to a young woman of twenty, she lived and loved through this emotion."
These are the first lines that came to my head when I sat to write this post. Meaningless or not, but the importance and significance of this word dominates men and women throughout the world. Either they love you for it or they detest. You tell them the story of your sexual endeavors and they talk with envy. You tell them of your sanctity they critique. Such and many more questions creep inside me. These trivialities have the power to bother you and keep you occupied. There are standards we set for ourselves, there are a set of parameters we have decided to stick by and follow. From sex to ambition, they teach you humility. They teach and want to instill in you the seed of humbleness. Humility is not bad. Of course not, its one of the very few things that actually makes most people bearable, but it is that very force which will pull you down. But I ask for one thing, one thing I plead to have my children growing up with. And that is 'Honesty'.
'Requiem for a Dream', I watched this utterly disturbing movie after a very long time, it is very simple. It disturbs you. That's what its prime motive is, it makes you believe in drugs as the catalyst for their destruction. Drugs are not the focal point of this hopeless movie that ends in trauma. What it is, is lack of honesty. The mother's dishonest about her love and needs. The son dishonest to himself. The black guy dishonest to his own desires, and the girl too much of a liar. The movie reminded me of 'Panic in The Needle Park'. I hate, have always hated such drug-driven movies where young men and women step on their lives for they are addicted to petty escapes. But 'Requiem for a Dream' is different, as it is not entirely about drugs. Its pathetic and disgusting, and the sheer catharsis of such emotions proves its success. By the end, Clint Mansell's musical masterpiece has hit you, you keep staring at the screen. Almost blank. These petty people, living unworthy lives despite having all the opportunities. The objectivity driven critic in me takes the space and I find it all arbitrary. But it makes me think. This pathos and tragedy, is too obvious. And now my focus is back on the need for Honesty. 'Carnage' for that matter is one of the movies like 'Blue Valentine' that is true. But there is an enormous difference between the two. 'Carnage' is beautiful with sugar coated couples in not-so-unhappy marriages. It makes you laugh and by the end you are rolling and at the same time smiling at the sheer beauty of this simplistic genius. Beautiful actors fighting like heroes and warriors over petty issues, its as honest as a movie can get. Then there is the poignant awe-someness of Blue Valentine. It takes your popular and spoon-fed ideas of happy endings and shoots it in the air. But very subtly. Honesty is not easy, neither is truthfulness. But there is more to it than acting as broken damaged beings. It is not merely an acceptance of your actions. Its the strength of confessing your carnality, the cannibalism which when hindered, drives people crazy.
Its a scary thing, Honesty is scary and risky. Either you gather the courage to face your deepest darkest most violent desires, or you abandon the very idea altogether. Take your time and breathe in. Face all of it. There are small fragments, from the time you watched your first movie to the moment you lost your virginity. The desires and cravings you buried inside give birth to untamable monsters. We all have a short or very long list of things we wish we had done. One little guilty pleasure that your mother dismissed for its profanity. Or that long night you spent thinking about competition and envy, but being a sin, you choose to eliminate it. These breath-taking desires are beautiful. You may want to sleep with your brother or murder your first bully. From sheer innocent ones to extremely dark and shameful. We were programmed, even before we were born, about the things decent enough to be done. About the things that are acceptable, about ideas that are agreed to. From an evil ambition to a crazy sexual fantasy. its these strongest to weakest questions that we refuse to answer. Day by day, they pile up. Year by year they coagulate and you are the perfect patient of neurosis. I am too. I have so much to do, and I am still learning to break those boundaries of what's acceptable and wild. But I seek Honesty. Tell me your tale of a wild day or a suffocatingly simple night. Nothing is as simplified once filtered with Honesty.
It is very hard, I feel it. We are already mutated. But I desire. Desire that our children will not be this corrupted. They will have this strength that somehow we managed to lack. I want them to be able to take a look in that dungeon where they will save their most precious cravings. And when the time is right, they won't be afraid to let them loose.
And feel free.
These are the first lines that came to my head when I sat to write this post. Meaningless or not, but the importance and significance of this word dominates men and women throughout the world. Either they love you for it or they detest. You tell them the story of your sexual endeavors and they talk with envy. You tell them of your sanctity they critique. Such and many more questions creep inside me. These trivialities have the power to bother you and keep you occupied. There are standards we set for ourselves, there are a set of parameters we have decided to stick by and follow. From sex to ambition, they teach you humility. They teach and want to instill in you the seed of humbleness. Humility is not bad. Of course not, its one of the very few things that actually makes most people bearable, but it is that very force which will pull you down. But I ask for one thing, one thing I plead to have my children growing up with. And that is 'Honesty'.
'Requiem for a Dream', I watched this utterly disturbing movie after a very long time, it is very simple. It disturbs you. That's what its prime motive is, it makes you believe in drugs as the catalyst for their destruction. Drugs are not the focal point of this hopeless movie that ends in trauma. What it is, is lack of honesty. The mother's dishonest about her love and needs. The son dishonest to himself. The black guy dishonest to his own desires, and the girl too much of a liar. The movie reminded me of 'Panic in The Needle Park'. I hate, have always hated such drug-driven movies where young men and women step on their lives for they are addicted to petty escapes. But 'Requiem for a Dream' is different, as it is not entirely about drugs. Its pathetic and disgusting, and the sheer catharsis of such emotions proves its success. By the end, Clint Mansell's musical masterpiece has hit you, you keep staring at the screen. Almost blank. These petty people, living unworthy lives despite having all the opportunities. The objectivity driven critic in me takes the space and I find it all arbitrary. But it makes me think. This pathos and tragedy, is too obvious. And now my focus is back on the need for Honesty. 'Carnage' for that matter is one of the movies like 'Blue Valentine' that is true. But there is an enormous difference between the two. 'Carnage' is beautiful with sugar coated couples in not-so-unhappy marriages. It makes you laugh and by the end you are rolling and at the same time smiling at the sheer beauty of this simplistic genius. Beautiful actors fighting like heroes and warriors over petty issues, its as honest as a movie can get. Then there is the poignant awe-someness of Blue Valentine. It takes your popular and spoon-fed ideas of happy endings and shoots it in the air. But very subtly. Honesty is not easy, neither is truthfulness. But there is more to it than acting as broken damaged beings. It is not merely an acceptance of your actions. Its the strength of confessing your carnality, the cannibalism which when hindered, drives people crazy.
Its a scary thing, Honesty is scary and risky. Either you gather the courage to face your deepest darkest most violent desires, or you abandon the very idea altogether. Take your time and breathe in. Face all of it. There are small fragments, from the time you watched your first movie to the moment you lost your virginity. The desires and cravings you buried inside give birth to untamable monsters. We all have a short or very long list of things we wish we had done. One little guilty pleasure that your mother dismissed for its profanity. Or that long night you spent thinking about competition and envy, but being a sin, you choose to eliminate it. These breath-taking desires are beautiful. You may want to sleep with your brother or murder your first bully. From sheer innocent ones to extremely dark and shameful. We were programmed, even before we were born, about the things decent enough to be done. About the things that are acceptable, about ideas that are agreed to. From an evil ambition to a crazy sexual fantasy. its these strongest to weakest questions that we refuse to answer. Day by day, they pile up. Year by year they coagulate and you are the perfect patient of neurosis. I am too. I have so much to do, and I am still learning to break those boundaries of what's acceptable and wild. But I seek Honesty. Tell me your tale of a wild day or a suffocatingly simple night. Nothing is as simplified once filtered with Honesty.
It is very hard, I feel it. We are already mutated. But I desire. Desire that our children will not be this corrupted. They will have this strength that somehow we managed to lack. I want them to be able to take a look in that dungeon where they will save their most precious cravings. And when the time is right, they won't be afraid to let them loose.
And feel free.
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