Friday 10 August 2012

It Wants Warmth.

Today was a good day, I managed to watch three wonderful and different movies. Read and got myself to like Mrs. Dalloway, just the mindless rambling was bothering a bit but the moment Woolf gets her hand on the mind, she had me. Same happened when Sylvia Plath talked to her best friend about her state edging on insanity. But these movies were different, made me feel something common but moving, it was not new or strange, it was a reminder.
Warmth, love, compassion and adoration, these are most missed and sought after by men and women of all times and ages. A child playing alone or an old man not able to open his medicine bottle, companionship is a requirement and a need. Either a playmate or a best friend, our little hearts are wired to fall in love. Somehow warmth of another human body has always attracted and pulled me. Though there is a bit of absence of such a pleasure, but I like to fall into nostalgia. There are time when I hug myself and remind me of the warmest hugs and most soothing kisses. It may sound lonely or sad, but it isn't. All of us feel conflicted and confused between things, I feel so too, but that isn't pushing me off the track. Anyhow, back to warmth and compassion. Aren't there some special days, early in the morning, light rain infusing the air with muddiness and laziness, you twist and twirl between sheets, probably expecting an arm to grab and spoon you closer, a good-morning kiss that doesn't wake you up but extends your slumber. Ah! Tricks that the mind plays! I do, I feel this vulnerability and fragility some days, days that I feel lonely.
That reminds me of significance of such intimacy and warmth. Monster's Ball, is lovely. With sudden deaths and beautiful acting by both Halle Berry and Billy Thornton, it leaves an impression. Berry has a way of pulling of these poignant roles, like in Things We Lost in the Fire, chemistry between the stunning Benicio Del Torro and our Catwoman was simply captivating. People are entangled to each other through tragedy and hope. Though there are a lot of us who would rather do away with this liability. But once there is a void as huge as this one, the road is not easy. Isn't that what all successful famous people have talked about? Aren't there a lot movies about extremely ambitious lonely people who are either clinically depressed or serial killers!
Ofcourse there is an incomplete answer to whether (some) people are better off without their insides branching out to others, always putting them at a risk or there is hope and love for everyone, and sometimes its mandatory. Many may read this also as an account of "first world problems", but it is not. People throughout the world feel this gutting inside them. Expression and communication may vary, but every human being, after disassociation of divisions like race, class, caste and gender, in the end has the similar needs. I can put an example of many such circumstances. This is where I would like to bring in Monster. Charlize Theron gained a fan after such a mind blowing verging-on-unbelievable performance. Playing a fat ugly hooker, who after being brutally raped closes on paranoia and murderers around ten men. I would rather avoid the socio-political anger it evoked in me and rather talk about the issue in focus. Its heartbreaking. That's all, it takes your heart out and shatters, you lose hope for any betterment of this world. You develop disgust and sadness. What ultimately takes her down to the brink of attempting murders? A woman that she sees as a love-loaded escape. Some love, and things might have been alright for her? But nothing is ever that simple.
With HappyThankyouMorePlease, Ted (Josh Radnor) does a decent job with this movie as a writer, producer and lead actor. Though there isn't much out of the ordinary going on, but by the end I had a smile on my face. I somehow felt relieved about something. Ted is Ted, a guy hopelessly looking for love, so there isn't much scope for discussion.
I would like to conclude this with a note, a note to self and others like me.
" We spend days and years trying to sort things out, and hoping for a singular direction that would somehow take us where we please. There are days when this seems like a struggle, a struggle that tires and refuses to end. There are decisions that we might make keeping our ambition in mind and hold those walls strong. It all sounds very cliched, but when I feel it inside me, it seems honest. There are so many plans I have made for myself, so much work I have allotted to me. No way in the world will I abandon it, but sometimes it's okay to cut some slack and dream of waking up next to some warmth."

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